These five words are a healing tool as I learn that it is safe for me to anchor into my physicality and embrace my place on this Earthly plane.
“I have a place here”. I remember a powerful crystal healing session I received in 2019 that was a turning point in my healing journey. These five words came to me during that healing and have become a foundational personal affirmation for me that that I still use every day all these years later.
Abort The Plan
I have learned that when I was coming into this incarnation I changed my mind and wanted to “abort the plan” as I was ten days past my due date. I was induced at birth and what followed was a very traumatic birth for both my mom and I. My mom told me that I was vacuumed out (talk about forcing a soul to come out when I wasn’t ready) and once I was delivered, my mom was in awful shape so they whisked her away to surgery and I was left without her at that crucial moment of bonding. Even a necessary disconnection like this to take care of my mom can be very traumatic from the perspective of our newly born selves as all we know is “My mom isn’t here, where is she?” “I’ve been abandoned.” This kind of incident or trauma can cause an existential terror to grip the soul and create a fear of the right to exist.
This traumatic birth created what energy healer Barbara Ann Brennan calls an “energetic defense” and my defense resulted in automatically drawing a part of myself back into the spirit world from which my soul came. This energetic defense unconsciously became second nature to me and I used it anytime I felt threatened.
This became one of the biggest challenges in my life: feeling safe enough to be here both in this physical body and this physical reality and feel that I am worthy enough to be here and to take up space. Growing up this led me to always feeling ungrounded and disconnected, like a boat without an anchor that never had the chance to rest in the safety of the harbor to refuel before heading out on another voyage. It was exhausting living only partly rooted in physicality and feeling a constant split within my spirit. I felt that I had only dipped a toe into my physicality, leaving the rest of my energy floating outside of my body unable to feel safe enough to fully settle in. This led to frequent illness and I often found myself “checking out” and leaving my body to mentally retreat to the spirit world. I would only come back when my mom would ask, “Did you leave again?” when she saw that blank look in my eyes she came to recognize so well.
Learning To Take Up Space
I was regularly receiving crystal and energy healings to help with the depression, fear, exhaustion and disconnection that so often consumed me. It was during one of these healings when those powerful words "I have a place here" came into my conscious mind during the session. I felt the words vibrate in my entire being, cracking my heart wide open. I was deeply moved with tears of comfort and validation and a sense of relief that I can finally be here. The words created a safety within me that I could begin to dig my energetic roots into the Earth and start to settle into my physicality. I felt that trauma begin to heal, to soften, to decrease in intensity and release it's grip on my day to day functioning. I had experienced a lot of deep personal growth around this in my early 20s and I feel that all of that inner work led me to that point, had prepared me for those five words. Before diving deep into my healing, I would not have been ready to receive that message. But when the words “I have a place here” came to me that day, it was perfect timing and was the validation my soul had been needing to hear, know, feel and accept with every fiber of my being.
Since that moment, I have felt a sense of belonging for the first time in my life and a sense of wholeness that was previously foreign to me. In recent years I have started to carry myself differently, finally standing up tall with confidence and self-assurance. I now feel that I deserve to take up space here and I do not cower and make myself small anymore. I rarely find myself “checking out” and instead I am inspired and in awe of my physical incarnation and all of the beauty, magic and wisdom it shows me. Being in nature is more nourishing to me as I see that I am a part of the whole and each part holds its own unique importance in creating the whole. My boat finally has an anchor.
Feeling safe enough to exist gives me the courage and strength to continue to heal the other parts of me. These words give me a solid foundation to not only build the rest of my life upon but to continue on my journey of self-healing and growth.
These five words were one of the missing puzzle pieces on my healing journey. I feel for the first time it is safe for my whole essence to be here and live from it every moment of every day empowered and thriving. I look outside my window and feel these words knowing that I have a place among every tree, rock, hummingbird and living being on this planet. There is a space just for me within the crystalline grid of the Earth.
Everything in my life still rests upon these words. These words are my Truth. There is no doubting it. I repeat and meditate upon those words everyday and the power they hold. Feeling safe enough to exist gives me the courage and strength to continue to heal the other parts of me. These words continue to give me a solid foundation to not only build the rest of my life upon but to carry on in my journey of self-healing and growth.
I share this story and those five powerful words for those of you who feel a connection, a parallel, a resonance in your own healing journey with mine. I want you to know that you too have a place here. Your soul has a place here with Mother Earth and in this physical reality. You are safe. You are worthy and deserving to take up space and do so with your whole essence radiating brilliantly. The world needs your unique vibrational signature, the whole is not complete without the vital role you play. You have a place here.